Clarifying your own brand is hard because you are too close to it to be objective, not because you lack something worth saying. In a service business the what is rarely different. Your competitors buy from the same manufacturers, build on the same platforms, and sell at the same price. The difference is in how you do it, and how you do it traces straight back to your story, your values, and the way you are wired as a leader. That is why it almost always takes an outside perspective to pull it out of you.
You sit down to write the About page, or the ad, or the answer to why anyone should hire you instead of the outfit down the road, and nothing comes out right. Everything you type sounds like what everyone else in your industry is already saying. So you settle for professional and safe, and then the marketing never quite feels like you. That gap shows up as imposter syndrome. I am not different enough. The truth is you probably are different, you just cannot see it from where you are standing. You have been in the trenches so long that the things that make you unique have started to feel normal.
This episode is the story of the hardest brand I have ever worked on, which is my own. Josh and I started a web design agency in 2011, and for years the biggest bottleneck in every project was getting a business to write its own content. We could pull a story out of almost anyone by asking a few questions. Then we sat down to write our own website and it was utter confusion. I go through why that happens, the level 10 to level 2 expertise gap from Building a StoryBrand, three real estate agents who sell the exact same thing in three completely different ways, and the process I finally ran on myself after realizing I needed to do what I take my clients through.
- Asking a business to write its own content was always the biggest bottleneck in the project. That was the tell that this is a root problem, not a writing problem.
- We were unclear about what made us unique, and we were afraid to tell our own story. Those are two different problems and most owners have both.
- Understanding your brand is about clarifying, it's not about creating. You are not inventing a difference, you are naming one that already exists.
- Your expertise sits at a level 10 and your customer sits at a level 2. Coming down to a 6 is not far enough.
- Three real estate agents can sell the exact same thing and still be three completely different brands, because the difference lives in the wiring of the person.
- Who you are as a leader shapes who you hire, how you treat people, and what a customer experiences when your crew shows up on the job site.
- Running a business is hard, standing out is hard, and there is a tax it takes on your family and your marriage. Being willing to say that out loud is part of our own brand.
Why is it so hard to explain what makes my business different?
Because you are inside it. You have been doing this a long time, you have teams and processes and equipment, and you have completely forgot what it is like to be brand new and know nothing about what you do. Your knowledge sits so far from where your customer sits that you cannot remember the distance anymore. On top of that, you are your own worst critic. There are too many doubts, too many demons, too many uncertainties and questions that keep you from stepping back and seeing yourself the way other people see you.
As the owner in your own business, you are trying to read the label from inside the bottle. And you're deeply ingrained, you're deeply entrenched into your business.
Amy Dardis, Episode 60I could sit down with any business, ask a handful of questions, and paint a picture in my head of what made them great. Then I would try to do it for my own agency and think, I want to be that, but I'm not that. Am I that? Is that really how I come across? There was nobody outside of it to tell me yes, this is how you come across, and you are different because of that. It is always harder to see the value you bring than to see it in someone else.
How do I stand out when my competitors sell the exact same thing I do?
You stop looking for the difference in what you sell, because there usually is not one. When I was in the gas and welding industry we all bought from Miller and Lincoln and Hypertherm. We sold the same products at the same price, and we got the same gas molecules from the same ASU plants. It is the same in the website world. Everyone is building on WordPress or Duda or Webflow, and now on AI.
It's not about the platform or what it is that we're delivering. It really is how we're doing it and giving a customer a clear and compelling reason to choose us over someone else that doesn't have to do with price.
Amy Dardis, Episode 60The difference was always in how we did it. That came from our leaders and our people and what we believed and the internal processes that drove how we operated and how we made decisions. That is where your reason to be chosen actually lives.
And it has to be simple. Your customer is comparing two or three companies on services and benefits and features and pricing, while everything else in their life competes for their attention. The reason has to be clear enough that the second they hear it they think, yes, that is what I want, that is what I need.
Where do I find what actually makes my business unique?
In your story. Anytime I sit down with a business owner I am asking what has shaped you up until this point, why you started the business you started, what issues you faced, what experiences led to that decision, and what you have learned as a leader since. I am listening to how you think, what you value, your personality, your characteristics, how you communicate.
What sets you apart in the market comes down to being your authentic self, because who you are as a leader directly affects the decisions you make. It affects who you hire, it affects how you treat people, it affects how you lead the business. Every one of those things ties into the experience your customer has with you.
It's not about what I know, it's about what I've been through and how that changes how we approach what we do. And if I'm not ever willing to share that, I'm not ever giving people a clear and compelling reason to choose me.
Amy Dardis, Episode 60Then you have to be willing to say it out loud. For years we wanted to come across as the best and the most professional, so we said what everybody else was saying because we thought that was what customers wanted. It never sounded right and it never felt right.
How do two businesses in the same industry end up with completely different brands?
I have worked with real estate agents across different brokerages who all do the exact same thing, and not one of them was the same brand. One is direct and no nonsense, not soft around the edges, and he is riled up about how mortgage companies structure loans and bury fees. He wants you looking at every number, the loan, the title company, all of it, so nobody gets screwed over.
Another is relationship driven and creative. He is doing giveaways, supporting local businesses, using his kids and video and humor, looking to add value in every interaction he has. A third looks at buying and selling as a huge life decision, prompted by a marriage, a divorce, a growing family, empty nesters downsizing, or a parent moving into assisted care. That one leads with empathy because the transaction is not the point.
The goal with marketing is to be able to connect the right customer with the right brand for the right reasons, so that what the business authentically brings, that value, that experience, that is going to align with what the customer values and what they want to experience.
Amy Dardis, Episode 60There is not a lot of wiggle room in the what. In the how and the why they were completely unique, and a lot of it tied back to the personality and the wiring of the person. We pulled those stories out and built the websites and the marketing around them, and it drove what each site looked like, sounded like, and felt like.
How do I get clarity on my own brand when I cannot see it myself?
You need someone outside of it. I reached out to friends and people I know and trust and said, here is what I am seeing as our story, can you affirm that for me, can you give me an objective perspective and tell me if I am on the right track. Then I looked at our story, the clients we have helped, the lessons we learned along the way, what we value, my unique gifting, Josh's unique gifting, and how we treat people. I wrote out what fifteen years in business had actually been like and pulled the themes out of it.
What came out of it was that the prettiest website was never the thing we brought to the table. Neither was the site that ranked the highest. What we brought was being able to figure out your authentic brand and articulate it in a clear and compelling way so that you give customers a reason to choose you.
It's not hard to write this because all I'm really doing is just writing my story. All I'm really doing is saying, this is what I've experienced. This is what I've learned along the way. This is what we value, this is how we help.
Amy Dardis, Episode 60If you are stuck, the do it yourself route is to take a step back, find someone who knows you, and look at your story together. Look at what brought you where you are, what you value, what you want in your life, and get an objective opinion from someone who can affirm it.
Resources mentioned
- Free Hiring Resources — Downloads to help you build a clearer, more aligned brand
- Building a StoryBrand by Donald Miller — Mentioned in this episode — the level 10 expert to level 2 customer gap
- Ep 3 — Why Clarity Is the Foundation of a Clear Authentic Brand — The pillar underneath everything in this episode
- Ep 50 — Why Authenticity Builds More Trust Than Strategy — Why telling the real story outperforms polished positioning
- Ep 63 — Leap Before You Look with HVAC Owner Chuck Mobley — A brand built almost entirely on one owner's personality and story
Full transcript
I'm your host, Amy Dardis. And in this episode, we are diving into why it's so hard to clarify and communicate your own brand. So if this is the first time you're joining us, I am a brand strategist and I have been clarifying brands for the last 15 years and I've gotten really, really good at it. It is something that is a unique gifting of mine. However, even though I've had tons of practice, even though I'm really good at being able to draw out people's stories and help businesses tell their brands, the hardest brand I have ever worked with is my own. And it's taken me a long time to actually be comfortable admitting that out loud, but learning how to tell this story was actually a huge aha moment. And it was a huge breakthrough moment in my own brand and in how we show up.
So a little bit of the backstory is my husband and I started a web design agency back in 2011. And we really had no idea what we were doing as far as starting a business or growing a business, but it was just trial by fire and figuring it out as we went, which is the case for most entrepreneurs I've met. And along the way, I found that I was really good at asking questions and I would sit down with a business and I needed to find out how to tell their story, what the content needed to be, how to lay out their website in a way that accurately reflected their brand.
So we used to actually ask businesses to provide their content, but we found that this was actually the biggest sticking point. This was the biggest bottleneck and frustration, that businesses themselves had a really hard time being able to give us the content we needed. Because when they had to sit down and actually write out and explain who they were, what made them different, what they did, why customers should choose them, that was really hard for them to put into clear and simple words.
But it was easier for us to do that because we were this outside perspective. We knew nothing about their brand most of the time when we first sat down with them. And so we would sit down with a fresh perspective, with a clean slate, with not being ingrained in their own business, and we would just start to ask questions like, how did you get started? And what made you start this business? And what do you do and how do you help? And we would just pull out these elements of their story and be able to objectively see this big picture of who they were as a brand. And so we could filter through all the noise and be able to tell the story and put it into clear and simple words and actually define this brand.
But the problem is when we went to do it for ourselves, when we went to write our own website, when we went to write our own marketing messages and campaigns, it was just utter confusion. It was just back and forth, trying this angle, trying this angle, trying to see what worked, what didn't. And there was just all kinds of internal chaos and confusion, which is exactly what our clients experienced as well.
And so I started picking up on this. I'm like, okay, it's not just us and it's not just them. This really is a root issue that so many businesses struggle with, because it's not something we often stop and sit down and be like, why do I do what I do? Why would someone choose me, if I had to say it in one sentence without writing a vision statement or a mission statement and sounding good? If I were to just say it for what it is, why would I tell someone to choose me? What makes me different than the agency down the road, than the HVAC company down the road, than the landscaping business down the road?
These service businesses where we all are selling essentially the same thing. A lot of our clients get their software and their equipment and their supplies from the same manufacturers as their competitors. I know when I was in the gas and welding industry, that's exactly what happened. We all bought from Miller and Lincoln and Hypertherm, and we sold the same products at the same price, and we got the same gas molecules from the same ASU plants. And so there was nothing different in what we sold. So we couldn't say, oh, you should choose us because this is what we do, because our competitors did the exact same thing. The difference was in how we did it. And how we did it was based on our leaders and our people and what we believed and our internal processes that drove how we operated and how we made decisions.
Same in the website world. There's so much competition with who do you get your website from? Well, we're all building with a lot of the same builders and back end, whether using WordPress or Duda or Webflow or even AI now. It's not about the platform or what it is that we're delivering. It really is how we're doing it and giving a customer a clear and compelling reason to choose us over someone else that doesn't have to do with price.
So the big issue was that we were unclear about the things that made us unique. And we were kind of afraid to tell our own story. We wanted to come across as the best and professional, and we wanted to say what other people were saying because we thought that's what customers wanted. And so, because of that, there was always a disconnect in our marketing and in our messaging, and honestly, how we felt as owners. We always felt like we had this imposter syndrome of, man, I'm not different enough. And when I try to say all these things that everybody else is saying, it doesn't sound right and it doesn't feel right.
And so the problem really comes down to a couple of things. The main thing is that as the owner in your own business, you are trying to read the label from inside the bottle. And you're deeply ingrained, you're deeply entrenched into your business. Your knowledge level and expertise level of what you know is so different and so far away from where your customers are at or even where a new employee is at. And so it's really hard to remember how far away that is and to actually communicate in a clear and simple way that meets them where they're at instead of where you're at.
And then it's really easy to get stuck because it's us trying to make these decisions. It's us trying to be objective about ourselves and about our business when, because we're so deeply ingrained, it's almost impossible to be objective, because we are our own worst critic. And there's too many doubts, there's too many demons, there's too many uncertainties and questions that keep us from being able to step back and see ourselves the way other people see us.
Which is why it was so easy for me to look at any brand, any person, any business, and asking questions, I could paint a picture in my head of this business and I could see what made them great, and I could see what made them unique and different, and the personality and the character and the attributes that made them who they are. And I was able to hone in on that and pull that out. But when I do that for myself, for my own business, I'm like, oh, I want to be that, but I'm not that. Am I that? Is that really how I come across? Or I think I come across this way, but in reality, we come across differently and we have this blind spot. And then there's no one outside to be like, you're good. Yes, this is how you come across. Yes, this is how I see you. And you are different because of that. A lot of times it's harder for us to see the value that we bring than it is to see the value in other people.
And for most of the clients we work with, we're working with established businesses. So we're working with business owners who have been doing what they've been doing for a long time. They have teams, they have processes and equipment and employees, and they've been ingrained in the trenches for a long time, and they've completely forgot what it's like to be brand new and to know nothing about what you do. And if you think about it, most of your customers don't know at all what you do or how the industry works, because that's not where their mind is. And so they're actually hiring you or looking to you because you're the expert, because you're the professional, but that doesn't mean that they can connect or understand you on that same level.
And in the book Building a StoryBrand by Donald Miller, he has this really great metaphor or example that explains that your industry level of expertise is at like a level 10, and your customers and audience and even new employees are at like a level two understanding. And when we try to simplify our messaging and we try to come down, we might be able to go from like a 10 to a six, but that's not far enough. There's still that gap between where we really need to be at in order to be able to communicate in a clear and simple way at a level where people actually are.
And then you add on top of that, that there's all kinds of distractions and there's all kinds of other people vying for their attention on every single front in their life. And you have your competitors who are saying the same thing. And if you're in a service-based business and they need someone to come and do their landscaping project, well, chances are they're not just looking at one company, they're looking at two or three, and they're comparing services and benefits and features and pricing, and they're looking at which one should I choose? And so our job as a brand in marketing and setting ourselves apart is to give people a clear, compelling, and simple reason to choose us. And that reason has to be so clear and so simple that as soon as people hear it, they're like, yes, that's what I want, that's what I need. And it has to be different and set apart from what other people in the industry are saying, from what other competitors are saying.
So the question is, how do we actually do that? And there's good news to this. So over the years, through doing this with all kinds of different businesses and industries, I've helped real estate agents that really do the exact same thing, and found across different agents and different brokerages, they all do it differently and for different reasons, and they have different approaches and they have different styles. And the answer is actually found within our story, and understanding your brand is about clarifying, it's not about creating.
So anytime I sit down with a business owner, I am looking at what has shaped you up until this point? What has led you to where you are today? And we're looking at why did you start the business that you started? What were the issues you faced? What were the experiences that led you to that decision? And then as a leader, what are the things that you have learned along the way? And we're looking at how you think as a person, we're looking at what you value as a person. I'm looking at your personality and your characteristics and just your attributes and how you communicate. I'm looking at all these things because what sets you apart in the market has to do with you being your authentic self, and understanding that who you are as a leader directly impacts the decisions that you make. And that affects who you hire, it affects how you treat people, it affects how you lead your business. And all of those things tie into the experience that your customers have with you.
So, in the example of the real estate agents, we have one agent that we've worked with who's very direct. He is no nonsense, he is not soft around the edges, he is just going to tell it to you straight and you're going to appreciate his brutal honesty. And he is very riled up about how mortgage companies structure loans and how there's all kinds of hidden fees. And he wants his clients to make really smart financial decisions that serve them, so that they don't have the lid pulled over their eyes and they don't get screwed over. He gets fired up and passionate about that. When you make a big financial decision, like buying a house, he wants you to look at all of the numbers across the board and he wants you to make a decision that is going to serve you financially well and smart for the long term. And he's going to use the process and the relationship to educate you on why you should or shouldn't do something. And he's not just looking at the house you're buying, but he's also looking at what loan are you using, which company are you using, which title company are you using. And he's gonna add up all the fees and help you make the best decision that you can. And that is what he brings to the table. That is how he helps his customers buy and sell their houses.
I have another real estate agent who is very relationship driven. He is very much looking to add value in every interaction that he has. So he's not so much looking at it on the financial side, but he's looking at it on the relationship side. And he wants to be a real estate agent that you can trust, that you know is going to have your back, he's gonna make it a good experience, he's going to communicate with you along the way. And he's very creative, he has this out-of-the-box type of thinking. And so when it comes to marketing real estate, he is on the cutting edge of doing that. He tries all kinds of cool and fun and unique things. And if you follow him on social media, you see that he's constantly doing different things and he's doing giveaways and he's supporting local businesses and he's using his kids and he's using lots of video and he's using humor. And he really brings a lot of creativity and innovation into how he works with his customers.
And then we have another real estate client who looks at buying and selling real estate as this is a huge life decision, and it's oftentimes prompted by life events. So it's prompted by people getting married, it's prompted by people getting divorced, it's prompted by families expanding and needing to go get into a bigger house. It's prompted by families downsizing and their kids moving away and them becoming empty nesters. It's prompted by families needing to put a parent into an assisted care living and needing to sell the house. So they're not looking at the transaction itself. They are looking at what is happening in life. What are those life events that are actually prompting this experience, and knowing that there's a lot of care, there's a lot of empathy, there's a lot of support that they provide in guiding people through these different life experiences.
And so you have three different agents, and I actually have more examples, and they're all different. That was one of the coolest things, is I worked with all these different real estate agents and brokers and saw that they all help you buy and sell real estate, and there's not a lot of wiggle room there in the what, but in how and why they did it. They were all completely unique. And a lot of it was tied to the personality and the wiring of the person themselves, which then affected how they showed up in business. So we pulled these stories out of them and then we focused on each of these different attributes on their websites and their marketing, and it drove what the website looked like, what it sounded like, what it felt like, and it attracted that type of person who is going to value that experience.
And so that's where this authenticity portion really comes in, is understanding a business really does come back to understanding who you are as a person. Are you this direct no-nonsense type of person? Or are you someone who is very relational and has a lot of humor and you make people feel comfortable? Or are you someone who's very empathetic and understanding and supportive and enjoys helping people through difficult situations? That part of it is going to affect how you treat your customers, what you value as a business, and even into the employees that you hire and how you lead your business, how you manage them, how you coach them, what you teach them is important when you show up to serve a customer, when you show up on a job site. That all comes from you and your brand.
So bringing this around full circle, when I was seeing how all these pieces came into play with the gas and welding distributor that I worked at and the clients that I helped and the clients that did the same thing. If you're a home builder, how does the way that you build homes change compared to the way these other outfits build homes and the type of environment that you have? And looking at the real estate agents, I was looking at all of these examples, and it was this clear conviction and this clear slap in the face of, okay, what I need to do is go through the exact same process that I take my customers and clients through.
And it is a lot harder to do it for yourself. It really helps to have outside perspective looking at your life from the outside in. And so I've reached out to friends and people that I know and trust and been like, okay, this is what I'm thinking, this is what I'm seeing as our story. Can you affirm that for me? Can you give me an objective perspective and tell me if I'm on the right track or not? But what I did is I looked at our story. I looked at all the different clients that we've helped, the lessons that we've learned along the way, the things that we value. I looked at my unique gifting, I looked at Josh's unique gifting, I looked at what we value and how we treat people and what really matters to us. And I started to write out our story of what it had been like to be in business for 15 years, and looking at that and then pulling out the themes.
And then also just owning our story and starting to embrace our own story of, okay, I have to share that. I have to be willing to share the real story. It's not about what I know, it's about what I've been through and how that changes how we approach what we do. And if I'm not ever willing to share that, I'm not ever giving people a clear and compelling reason to choose me. And so that all came back to this idea of we are all about helping people find clarity in their brand and how they operate, so that they can give people a clear reason to choose them for the right reasons, and giving employees a clear reason to choose you, giving customers a clear reason to choose you, because it comes back to being authentically who you are.
It's understanding your own story, it's understanding the experiences that have shaped you, it's understanding what guides you, what motivates you, and pulling that to the surface and making that the most compelling reason of why someone should trust you, of why someone should choose you. And then knowing, because there's alignment there, because you're communicating clearly, because you're communicating in a way that there's personality and life and heart and story there, it gives them a reason to be like, that's me, and I resonate with that. I align with that. Or no, I'm looking for something different.
So if you're the person who's looking to buy and sell a house, how do you know which realtor to go with? Well, what do you want in your experience? What do you value? Do you want the guy who's gonna be no nonsense and really focus on your financial well-being and help you look at all of the different aspects? Do you want the guy who's going to value the relationship beyond just what happens during the buy and sell transaction, and the guy who's going to be really creative and innovative with how he markets your listing so that you have a fun experience and you get the most out of your home? Or do you want the outfit where you're going through some difficult stuff? Maybe you're going through a divorce. Maybe you have to put a parent in an assisted living facility and there's real emotion there and there's real difficult decisions that you have to make through that. And you want someone who's going to understand that and be empathetic and support you through that process, knowing that it's not just about the transaction, it's about the roller coaster of emotions that you are going through. And you need someone who's gonna have your back through that process.
So the customer knows where they're at. And the goal with marketing is to be able to connect the right customer with the right brand for the right reasons, so that what the business authentically brings, that value, that experience, that is going to align with what the customer values and what they want to experience. And when those two sync up and they can both operate in their authentic selves, that's what creates a really great experience. That's what creates a loyal, raving customer.
So we realized for ourselves and our brand that what we brought to the table wasn't the prettiest website. It wasn't the site that ranked the highest online. What we brought to the table was being able to figure out your authentic brand and articulate it in a clear and compelling way so that you give customers a reason to choose you. That is our sweet spot. That is what we're really great at. And we want to work with people who that's what they're looking for, that's where they're at in their life. And they want to do it with people where we can be real and we can talk about the hard stuff, and there is no pretense and there is no veneer here. We're not here to put on some big show. We're here to be real and authentic and admit that running a business is really hard and standing out is really hard. And dealing with all the demons inside of you as an entrepreneur is really hard. And carrying that weight and that responsibility is really hard. And there is a tax that it takes on your family and on your marriage, and we've experienced that and we've lived that and we're willing to talk about it. We're willing to share that and we're willing to meet people where they're at in the journey.
So when we finally get to this point of, okay, here is who we are, here's this brand, there is this peace and clarity that comes from it. And then that's when you can start to align what you say and how you operate and what people experience. And it's not hard. Once we had this breakthrough, I was able to sit down and start writing content and start creating a website and start positioning ourselves as a business where I was like, yeah, I'm really proud of this and I feel good about this. And this isn't hard. It's not hard to write this because all I'm really doing is just writing my story. All I'm really doing is saying, this is what I've experienced. This is what I've learned along the way. This is what we value, this is how we help. And if you're this person, we can help you through that. And that's fun. There's purpose in that, there's peace in that, there's joy in that.
But it first came from being willing to, one, recognize that it was really hard to objectively look at my brand from the outside looking in, and being willing to admit that and share that with our customers so that they know that hey, if you're struggling to look at your brand, if you're struggling to articulate it and communicate it and know how to drive that alignment, guess what? I've been there too. We've also experienced this. I resonate with that deeply. And because of that, we want to help you. Because of that, we want to know that there can be this trust and understanding there. And we can help you get to the other side of that.
So if you find yourself being a business owner that does feel stuck, that does feel like you're lacking this clarity and authenticity and alignment in your business. One, the do-it-yourself route is take a step back, find someone who knows you and look at your story. Look at the things that have brought you to where you are, look at the things that you value, look at the things that you want in your life, and get an outside opinion of someone who can affirm that for you with an objective perspective. Or number two, if you want help with this process, we can help you there and you can learn more about that at ClearAuthenticBrands.com. But that is all for this episode. I will see you guys next time.